- to Euphrosyne, with love (English)

 

Charles/Erik, X-Men movies, AU

Fluff, silly nothing to be exact.
Trigger warning: too much cuteness?

“Hey, Erik?”

“Eh?”

“Come with me to the zoo.”

“Ugh,” said Erik and held Charles closer to himself. “We stay in the bed.”

“I want to do something today.”

“I have ideas…”

“We have been going over them in the past few days.”

“I have new ideas.”

“Erik? Come with me to the zoo.”

A worker in a green t-shirt, green trousers and green rubber boots was standing on a platform painted green, holding a green basket with a green fake-enthusiasm. He was waving a fleshy fish with one hand, smacking and gesturing theatrically with the other. A bored polar bear was waddling towards him.

Erik watched the show with boredom similar to the bear’s while Charles was chattering about the genetics of hunting instinct beside him. On his other side, a boy in an Iron Man t-shirt looked up at Erik who looked back with a reactionless face. The kid wasn’t touched by this, so he grimaced, just for the fun of an experiment. Well, Erik wasn’t impressed at all ‒ although he was generally a pretty sight to view, he could, in fact, make bloodcurdling faces if he wanted to. And at the moment he wanted to because he was bored. And then the kid started crying. Now, his mother wasn’t impressed. She started swinging her hands in Erik’s direction, ranting about disturbing her child’s state of mind. Erik was standing still and listening to her without a word, his hands in his pockets. When the woman has raised everybody’s attention around them, Erik spoke coldly:

“Ich spreche kein Englisch. Aber das war eine schöne Rede.”

Then he nodded to Charles, implying they should be moving on. When they were out of earshot, the man felt the irresistible urge to ask: “What did you do?”

“I was playing.”

“With the kid?”

“Yup. He started it.”

Charles left it at that. He could imagine what had happened in broad outlines and the smaller ones didn’t matter.

Out of spite, Erik sat down on the curb right next to the restaurant, and unpacked his slightly soggy sandwich from the napkin. Out of solidarity, Charles joined him, so now the two of them were chewing their buns.

“These kinds of places are a total rip-off,” gestured Erik in the direction of the restaurant.

“Yes,” agreed Charles. “But they have to make money out of something, too.”

“It’s much more handy to bring your own sandwiches,” said Erik.

“Yes, handy,” nodded Charles. “But, of course, not as fresh. Or tasty.”

Erik glanced to his side and was eyeing the other man for a little while. Then he asked: “You want to go in, don’t you?”

Charles blushed and was eyeing the ground. “I do.”

So they went in. Erik declined the menu, and told the waiter instead to bring the least expensive kosher meal that is not a salad. And a glass of beer. Charles was, on the other hand, browsing through the menu for a looong time. Then Erik got bored ‒ the waiter did, much earlier, but Charles kept telling him to stay, he’s done, he’s done ‒, and after clearing his throat, he gave Charles a cynical grin with a warning look. The message intended to be something along the line of “I’m hungry and I dare to explore steeper roads to get what I want.” Charles sighed and ordered something with an Italian name. And a glass of juice.

“I believe we haven’t been in a restaurant since our second date,” said Charles.

“Restaurants are pointless.”

“You suggested it as the location of our second date.”

“You seemed like someone who’d like it. Also, it’s a must-do thing, go to a restaurant on at least one date.”

“Since when do you do what you have to?”

“I didn’t want to screw up anything with you.”

Charles downright melted in his chair. Erik smiled surreptitiously.

A lazy lion was staring straight at Erik behind the glass. Erik was staring back at it in an unbreakable and stern manner. Meanwhile Charles was studying the information board curiously.

“...however, Lester had been born in this zoo.” Charles finished reading.

“Educational.”

“Hearing this from you‒” started Charles, then he realized that it was a woman’s voice before.

“You could be a teacher or something,” stated the young woman. “Your voice is, like, so soothing. And I can totally imagine you keeping classes interesting.”

Charles shamelessly blushed. “Actually, as a matter of fact, I am. A professor.”

“Oh?”

“I give lectures on genetics. I’m Charles,” he stuck out his hand.

“Jean, hi. Professor of Genetics in the Zoo. This could be the title of something,” laughed Jean. “Are you doing some kind of experiment now?”

“Oh, no. Uhm. It’s a… private trip. However, I see my companion is trying to intimidate the lion.” Charles glanced in the direction of Erik who was still in an assiduous staring contest with the overgrown cat that licked its nose time and time again as a routine.

“I feel like it’s not going too well.”

“I believe so. Erik?”

“Eh?”

“Leave the lion.”

“He’s provoking me.”

“Obviously.”

Erik groaned and left the lion. Stepping beside Charles, he started eyeing the woman in front of him.

“Hello. Jean.”

“Hallo. Erik.” The man was pressing the words harshly, as he often did, as if bricks were crushing on cobblestone.

“Well then, I’ll let you enjoy your private trip.”

“Ehm,” exclaimed Erik. “Date. But thanks.”

“Oh yes, I meant to not be too indiscreet,” explained Charles. “It was nice to meet you, Jean.”

“Likewise. Have a good day!” And the woman slid back to the cage of the wolves, and clinged onto a man.

Erik was staring at Charles questioningly but he only got a shrug as an answer, then he hugged the man’s waist as they walked on to the next animal.

“You’re that horse.”

“Why that horse? Why a horse?”

“There’s that saying… does it exist in English? If there’s no horse, a donkey will do. So then you’re a horse.”

Charles was touched, and snuggled to Erik’s side.

“And I’m that donkey.”

“You’re not a donkey. Be that pig instead.”

“Pff, thanks. I’m Jewish.”

“You don’t have to eat it.”

“Why am I that pig?”

“Pigs are underrated and misunderstood.”

Erik kissed down on the top of the two challahs smaller Charles’ head. (These stupid American units of measure…)

It was dark in the tunnel, and the only source of light was blue because of the gigantic aquarium on both sides and on top in which numerous species of schools of fish were swimming. Charles threw his arms on Erik’s shoulders, and Erik placed his big hands on Charles’ hips. Charles was blinking up at him with sparkly eyes. Erik leaned down and kissed him, right when a ray that swam across the aquarium above casted a shadow on them ‒ and Erik kept kissing Charles, he kept holding him tightly because let the people see, let the people see that it’s natural and it’s romantic and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. How could he ever be ashamed of Charles?

“Schildkröte.”

“Naturally.”

“Erdmännchen.”

“Of course.”

Charles’ German animal name dictionary was growing rapidly.

“Ich will dich ficken,” spat out Erik, and his voice always turned brassier and harsher when he said things like this in German.

Charles’ German vulgar dictionary has been growing rapidly too (well, from zero to a lot), so his face politely turned red.

“Of course I’m not resisting,” he said, “but perhaps not in front of the monkeys and children.”

“Giraffes, then?”

Finally they found the best place to be the usual, all-time ideal toilet. Erik abruptly pushed Charles into the stall, to the wall, at the far end of the room, and swung the door shut behind himself. He was tasting Charles’ soft, warm lips with greed, his tongue danced on the roof of his mouth, then he moved on to his ears and down to his neck where he loved to use his teeth. Charles reached out to Erik’s belt with thirst while he was kissing his neck. Then he crouched down, and Erik let out a hushed groan.

A little while later Charles, with hickeys on his neck, and Erik, with messy hair, stepped out from the men’s room, both with big, satisfied smiles.

“Maybe the zoo is indeed fun,” stated Erik.

“See, I told you.”